Script Draft 5 - REVISITED AND CHANGED

     EPISODE 1

FADE IN:

SCREEN TITLES: “LIABILITIES”

EXT. HILL IN THE WILDERNERSS – NIGHT

The deserted city in the background, barren landscape showing no-one in sight other than the 3 main characters.

SCOTT (a tall thin boy in his late teens clearly shown by his jumper) is gazing into the distance.  LIAM (overweight, short boy in his mid-teens) and JOSH (a slim individual with large fringe) are stood on a hill overlooking an empty city where no-one is in sight, cars have crashed and there is a big crater in the centre.

                     Scott:

(Gazing into the distance)

Where is everyone?

Like no-one’s there and cars

are overturned and stuff

Liam walks over

Liam:

What are you suggesting Scott?

Josh a slim individual with large fringe buts in

Josh:

He’s obviously suggesting that

everyone has given up with this

dead-end city and decided to

leg it to the nearest city

where dreams can still be made.

Scott:

(Sighs)

No Josh. What I meant to say

is it looks like something has

hit the city and everyone has

fled or worse..

Liam:

What do you mean worse?

Scott:

Like y’know dead and stuff

Josh:

(disbelief)

Just listen to yourselves;

they’re probably fitting new

roads or something you retards

Scott:

That deep? They’re not making

a highway to hell you utter moron.

Liam laughs

Josh sternly looks at Liam who abruptly stops.

Josh:

Okay smartass, so what’s happened?

Liam:

Just stop fighting. We need to go

down there and

(stuttering) investigate

Josh:

Investigate?

Liam:

yeah.

Josh:

So? What are we waiting

here for? C’mon.

Josh grabs Liam by the arm as they walk towards the empty city

Scott runs after them in order to catch them up.

`                                    Dissolve to:

EXT. URBAN CITY – NIGHT

On the outskirts of an urbanised city where cars have been overturned and car alarms are going off. The air is heavy with mist

Scott:

Well, this doesn’t look

very ‘fun’

Josh:

C’mon lets get closer

Scott:

(dramatically)

And here he goes again,

always taking command to

drag us to an early death

Josh:

Wow. You realllllyyyyyyyy

are a pussy. Liam you comin’?

Liam suddenly looks up after looking at his feet to find Josh and Scott looking at him waiting for a response.

Liam:

Comin’? What? Sorry I wasn’t

listening

Josh:

(Aggressively)

Well I’m going with or without

you.

Liam:

(Stuttering)

but, but, but it looks dangerous

like we could get hurt or somethin’

Scott:

(aimed to annoy Josh)

For once, I agree with you Liam.

Josh:

Fine then.

Josh walks off towards the crater avoiding obstacles within his path

Scott and Liam shortly follow

Liam:

Wait up! If I didn’t know any better

it seems like you have got a keen

interest with big, dark holes…

Scott:

He was in Juvenile for too long and-

Josh: INTERRUPTING

(bluntly)

                Hahahahahahahahahahahaha no.

Liam:

(confused)

                I don’t understand..

Josh:

Good, you wouldn’t want to.

(sternly looks at Scott)

                                                           Fade to:

EXT. Urban City Crossroads

Deserted Crossroads with collapsed signposts, two cars are crashed in the middle of the crossroads with smoke coming from the bonnet. On the edge of the crossroads there is a field where there is a huge crater which has been recently made as shown by the glow coming from it.   

Josh approaches the crater cautiously where he stares down into it

Josh:

(whispers to himself)

                what is that..

Scott:

Get away from the edge,don’t

want you falling in do we?

Liam:(CONT’D)

Yeah.

Scott and Liam approach Josh to see what he is staring at

Liam:

Is that a-

Scott:

Meteor. Yes. Has to be.

But, it can’t be!

Josh:

(smugly)

                obviously is.

Josh climbs carefully down into the crater despite the distant yells coming from Scott and Josh.

Scott:

Josh! What the fuck are

you doing?! You’ll get

yourself killed!

Josh:

I’ve done stuff like this

before, I’ll be fineeeeeeeeee

A spark comes of the meteor and connects with Josh which sends him flying backwards with his arms and legs sprawled on the ground

Scott:

What the..

Liam:

Josh are you alright?!

‘cos you don’t look it

Josh:

And I’m fine, I just feel

er… weird?

Scott:

It’s about time you came

out the closet.

Josh:

Not like that. I mean I

feel like, hot and numb

almost like I’ve got pins

and needles in my arm

Liam offers his arm out to help Josh out the crater

Josh connects his hand onto Liam’s arm which Liam screams in agony and shrugs Josh off him

Josh falls back down into the crater where he stares at Liam with confusion

Liam:

Josh! What the fuck man,

that hurt!

Josh:

What hurt?

Liam:

You know.

Josh:

I honestly don’t

Liam:

You squeezed my arm!

Josh:

No I didn’t! I had hardly

any grasp on it.

Liam:

well whatever you did it

really fucking hurt.

Scott climbs down into the crater to get a closer look at the meteor, where Liam is still stood on his own grasping his arm in pain whilst watching on.

Josh:

(Angrily)

Oh yeah, just climb closer

to the meteor, don’t give a

flying fuck about me.

Liam feels isolated on his own and quickly jumps down into the crater alongside Scott and Josh

                                                Dissolve to:

EXT. WITHIN THE CRATER

The crater has an orange and red glow being created from the meteor veins. The crater itself has pipes and street lights sticking out of the base of the crater which the protagonists carefully manoeuvre around throughout the scene.  

Liam:

(As he is climing down)

I see what you did there 

Scott:

Shh. From what it seems something

has connected into you, like, an

electric shock or something.

Josh:

Electric? From a meteor?

Next joke.

Scott:

(bragging)

I did GCSE science, I’m

being serious

Leans backwards onto one of the slanted streetlight with a tooth pick in his teeth.

Liam:

Thought you failed that?

Scott quickly stands back up after being leant on the streetlight.

Scott:

(Sternly)

I did, but that’s not the

point.

Liam walks over and stands alongside Scott at the centre of the crater.

Liam:

So what actually is it?

Scott:

I’m not sure what it is

but whatever it is, has

totally messed up Josh.

Scott tries to get Josh’s attention

Scott:

(Shouting)

Josh… Josh…. JOSH

Josh purposely gives a delayed response

Josh:                                                                                            

Yeah, sorry, I’m still

here just slowly dieing.

Liam:

But you aren’t.

Josh:

Shutup.

Liam is gazing at the meteor which the other two characters notice and stare at Liam before Josh speaks up.

Josh:

(Directed at Liam)

What the fuck are you looking at

Scott:

Who? Me?

Josh:

(Pointing at Liam)

No. Him!

Liam:

(Unaware of what’s happening)

Err. What. Sorry wasn’t listening

Josh:

What were you staring at?

Liam:

(Almost certain)

The Meteor, it’s glowing

Scott:

No it isn’t...

An explosion goes off which Scott and Josh turn around to see where it came from

Scott:

(In fear)

What the fuck was that?!

Josh:

(Bluntly)

Like I’d know

Scott and Josh turn back around to talk to Liam

Scott:

Liam, Do you know wha-

A slight pause

Liam:

What?

Scott: (CONT’D)

Liam?..

Liam:

Yeah?

Liam cannot be seen to the characters but Liam can see them

Josh and Scott frantically climb out of the crater and return to the crossroads as a safety point. Liam follows with the other two unaware.

                                                     Fade to:

EXT. CITY CROSSROADS

The scene is unchanged. However the smoke coming from the cars bonnet has now distinguished and there are no longer any car alarms going off.

Josh:

Where the fuck is he? I can

hear him talking about stuff but

he’s like not there

Josh keeps turning around frantically to find sight of Liam

Scott:
(Bluntly to Josh)

No shit. I can hear you but

you’re like not there

Josh:

(Interupts)

I must be trippin’ balls man

Josh holds his head in his hands dramatically whilst giving a muted groan.

Liam:

Are you two okay?

Scott:
(Stressing)

Are we okay? You’re the one

fucking hiding

Liam looks baffled and is constantly looking at his arms and legs

Liam:

(Unaware)

How am I hiding? I’m stood

right in front of you

Josh:

But we can’t see ya..

Scott:

Did you touch the meteor?

Liam:

I don’t think so, not that

I know of

Josh:

(Making it clear to Scott)

Of course he has! He’s fucking

invisible for fuck sake

Liam:

(In shock)

Me? Invisible? Awesome.

Scott:

He can’t be! You haven’t been

affected like he has!

Characters focus on Josh’s arm

A electic ripple goes along Josh’s arm

Josh:

(Cheekily and cockily)

Are you sure mate?

Scott:

(Starts to panic)

IT CANT BE! SUPERPOWERS ARE

NON-EXISTANT AND DON’T EXIST

IT’S JUST FOR COMICS AND STUFF

Liam:

(Mockingly)

Ooooo someone learned a new

word, Mr Fancyyyyyyy

Scott:

Shutup! You can’t just trot

along over to the meteor and

touch it like this-

Scott touches Josh’s arm

                                                           CUT TO

INT. CITY MAIN STREET

Where a car is hurling towards Liam where Josh fires an electric bolt at to prevent it from hitting Liam

                                                           CUT TO

EXT. CITY CROSSROADS

Returns to where they were prior to this flashback-like scene

Josh:

Scott, Scott, are you okay Scott?

Wouldn’t want our little baby all

hurt *graps his cheek mockingly*

Scott shoves Josh off him

Scott:

Wow…

Liam:

What?

Scott:

I think I just had a flashback

Or something

Josh:
Oh yeah? Of what?

Scott:

(struggling to remember)

There was a car. It was flying towards

Liam and you shot it back with a bolt

or something

Liam:

But that hasn’t happened so how is it a

flashback?

Scott:

(Dazed)

I don’t know, it just, just

happened alight?

Josh:

Whatever you’re on. I need some

of that shit.

Another explosion goes off in which the camera has an over-the-shoulder of Liam which a car is heading towards him

Josh quickly steps in and without thinking shoots the car back with an electric bolt

The characters fall to the ground where they try to make sense of what Scott said and what happened

Liam:

(Dazed)

What. Just. Happened.

Josh:

What you said-

Liam and Josh:

(synchronously)

Happened.

The 3 protagonists slowly climb back to their feet whilst dusting off their pants and knees.

Scott:

I know, I knew something happened

to me when I touched Josh’s arm!

Josh interrupts and brings Scott’s aloud thoughts to a halt

Josh:

So let’s get this straight. I can

somehow shoot electric bolts,

Liam can turn invisible and you can

see into the future?!

Scott:

(Unsure)

It seems that way I guess

Josh:

(Slyly)

Do you realize what we can do?!

We can be whatever we want to be!

We’re fucking superheroes!

Liam:

(Extremely Happy)

This is going to be sweeeeeeeeeeeet

Scott:

We have powers now I guess. You know

what they say, with great power comes

great responsibility

Josh:

(Quickly catches on)

You robbed that off Spiderman

Scott:

It’s relevant though

Josh:

I couldn’t give a flying fuck if it’s

relevant, we’ve got a 3 different powers

and we’re sat here in a ditch wondering

why we’ve got them. Let’s get out there

and fuck shit up

Liam:

Amen.

Scott:

We’re (reluctant to say) ‘superheroes’ now.

We’re not criminals.

Liam:

Didn’t stop us before.

               

Scott:

That was different, we had nothing

to do with our lifes: no aspirations,

hopes etc we were washouts with no

purpose but now..

Liam:

(Confused)

                “now” what?

Scott:

Now. We sort this mess out and find out

what’s really going on.

Fade out 

Evaluation

Evaluation

Script

I have created a 10 page script on a new TV series which I have named “Liabilities” set around adolescent, working class boys with the narrative describing them coming across a meteor and gaining powers from it.

I conducted 5 different drafts of my script with it getting better after each draft. I improved it from research I had done along the way. I used a variety of sources in able to make my script as professional as it could be. The sources I used were as follows: The Internet, a questionnaire, focus group and already present TV scripts all of which had significant impacts on my final outcome.

When using the internet I learnt key guidelines I had to stick by in order for it to have the correct discourse markers like you’d expect a professional script to have. I learnt that all scripts use the font: “Courier” and the standard size is “12pt” which I applied within my 4^th Draft to make the format of my script look professional. The reason behind why scripts use “Courier” and in the size of “12pt” is because it was the standard font used by all typewriters. I also learnt that the script requires certain indents to indicate whether it’s a change in scene, which protagonist is speaking, scene heading etc an example of this is that for a character’s name the indent has to be “Indent: Left: 2.0" Right: 0.0" Width: 4.0" which I implemented within my 4^th draft.

I learnt from the use of already present scripts such as “Being Human – Episode 1, Series 1” that they contain a variety of scene transitions in order to help the narrative flow as well as having various different plot lines running simultaneously. I learnt this and I tried to implement simultaneous plot lines discreetly via the use of stage directions and minor dialogue such as “Josh:(Aggressively)Well I’m going with or without you.” which has connotations that he is in it for himself and doesn’t need the others, which I could later develop into a huge plotline of betrayal.

I also learnt from my internet research that every scene should be wrote on the script as a scene heading with a brief narrative description below it to set the scene which then has a transition underneath to introduce the coming scene. I also learnt from internet research that after every new character there needs a description of what they come across as with their name in capitals such as “SCOTT a slim, tall boy wearing a heavy coat, strolls across the room” which I implemented in my 4^th draft.

When I conducted my focus group with around 5 of my peers, they helped me build my believability of my characters so that if this show was to air it would fit with at least one of the 4 main gratifications which would be to “relate” for the viewers due to how they dress for example.

 

Another way in which I helped develop my script was via the use of making my own questionnaire which I then gave out to several people in order to get quick and easy feedback. By doing this it helped develop the actual idea I had, it helped suggest that my series would be best fitted being indexical with both a fantasy, action and comedy genre and this is how I came up with the idea for three teenage protagonists in order to create a comedic effect.

The questionnaire also helped me specify who my target audience would be, it came out that this series would appeal to both genders from a working class background (like the protagonists themselves) and that by having the comedy within the script i.e.  “If I didn’t know any better it seems like you have got a keen interest with big, dark holes…” which is stereotypical of a teenage male to make euphemisms about sexual oriented subjects which again helps build the believability of my characters themselves. 

Another thing I learnt is that due to it being a male orientated TV drama I had to incorporate something in order to attract a female audience, I did this via the use of brief character description e.g. “SCOTT (a tall thin boy in his late teens clearly shown by his jumper)” which means that he can appeal to the stereotype that some girls go for and can act as the female gaze within the show if it was to air.

DVD Cover

When I decided to put together both my DVD cover and Poster I did so with most things in mind with actual reasoning on why they were placed where they were.

Firstly with the DVD cover, the dominant signifier of the text is the image of the individual looking into the distance. With the individual being in a hood it promotes the enigma of whether this person is a villain (Like in Propp’s character scheme) and is stalking what is ahead or whether he is a ‘hero’ and watching over the city. I chose to have no anchorage supporting this as there is no preferred meaning and instead I want the viewer to have their own unique connotations when they look at this text.

The title “LIABILITIES” has been done in a long narrow, linear font in a grey, eroded font, which appeals to a more masculine audience. I chose to aim it mainly towards a masculine audience (more so than a female) as the 3 protagonists are male themselves and share what the stereotype of young adolescent boys are which is: to have ‘banter’, swear a lot and insult each other.

The use of the dress code of mainly hoodies helps put across the preferred meaning that this text is aimed more around a working class background who are seen to wear hoodies the most. By it being set in a working class background via the dress code it helps the audience ‘relate’ to the text which means the text will be more gripping and will entice a larger viewing base.

When editing the cover’s contrast I chose to do so it brings out the light in the top left corner which has connotations of either a sun or even a meteor (like my narrative possessive). However if the viewer has an oppositional reading of the text it has an anchorage in the bottom right-hand corner which looks very similar to what meteor ore veins would look like i.e. glowing and red which indicates the bright light in the top left corner is actually a meteor.

I chose to put the age certificate of my text at a “15” as after doing some thorough internet research I learnt that in a 15 there is: strong violence, frequent strong language, portrayals of sexual activity, references to sexual violence, discriminator language or behaviour and drug taking. All of which are within my script and the narrative of my show especially the use of frequent strong language, strong violence and drug taking which help reinforce the stereotypical representation of the youth within the media.

The use of the tag line “Our Last Hope” helps reinforce that this text is within the genre of action which when put alongside the use of the meteor ore on the ground and the bright light it suggests that this can be classed as an action/fantasy text which I originally aimed to do.

Poster

When creating my poster I had most things in mind in order to provoke specific responses from the viewer.

Firstly the dominant signifier of the poster itself is the image of the town’s skyline which has another reference towards a meteor (which was also on my DVD cover) which helps determine that it is within the ‘fantasy’ genre. The placing of the meteor itself is heading towards the “9:00pm” start time which has connotations that it is “on its way to channel 4” due to it hurdling towards the channel 4 icon and people may view it as “its nearly there” in reference to it being on people’s TV screens.

I chose to put the Channel 4 Icon on the poster as it further promotes that this text will be displayed on Channel 4. I chose to put my text on Channel 4 as it is very similar to other stimulus texts already on Channel 4 such as “The Inbetweeners” which had 4 all male protagonists which is very similar to my show itself. Other shows such as “Shameless” which is on Channel 4 is a working background text very similar to my text as well.

I chose to put it at a 9:00pm start time as it is after the watershed which it needs to be due to it being an age 15 rated text. By putting my show after the watershed it means that younger audiences such as children will not be susceptible to the qualities that my text possesses which is strong violence, excessive use of strong language and occasional drug use which are all at some point within my show’s narrative.

By the font of the poster being eroded it further reinforces that it is actually “Our Last Hope” and the effect of it being eroded has connotations of many people have tried before them and failed which helps foreshadow the narrative of my text.

By my poster being landscape I would display it on billboards due to the mass audience it would reach. Due to the simplicity of the poster itself such as just when it starts, the name of the text and a reference to an outside source where there is more information, further reinforces that it would be best on a billboard due to drivers and passers-by only having a few seconds to scan read my poster and gain the important information they need and avoiding having to scan read through unnecessary text.